Poking with a Stick

So it's been over a month since I posted to this blog, a month and 1/2 since I edited any of my work and two months since writing anything new. As of a week ago I was completely convinced that this new re-launch of a supposed writing career was dead, but here I am this morning trying to reboot, negotiating with myself some way to get back into the game.

I'm starving for legitimacy. I think this is much if not all of my problem. It's not the business, since traditional publishing is no longer a barrier to 7 figure success. Just ask Amanda Hocking. Jesus, I only need $500 a month to live comfortably!

It is the marketing aspect of the book business that I can't stomach, though. Peddling my wares like a snake oil charlatan. I'm letting it get in the way of my writing. Here I am, sitting on two novels and a novella and I am so close (but oh so far) from the finish line.

But it's back to that legitimacy song and dance again. The deal I've verbalized (in my head) this time goes like this: I just need to edit the books I have written and put them on Kindle. If they take off or even mildly sell (I would be happy with selling just one book!) then that may be the motivation I need to write another book. My research won't stop. I don't research just for my books. I research because I love to learn and explore, just not in an overly academic fashion. Well, I use a pretty studious methodology, I just don't like the limits placed on me by academia (can't use Wikipedia? How stupid is that? Stop trying to protect your book sales).
 But maybe this burden in me to write, to create, will finally be quenched if I get several books out there available to the public and they don't sell. I could say I tried it, that I put out the effort - crap, I've already written three - and then go on my merry way just researching and learning for my own sake and piecing together a coherent theory of Everything. But, what if my books take off? What if I start moving units like Hocking. I've read her book. I don't see any difference between her writing and mine. There are plenty of errors throughout it, both grammatical and editorial. I'm never going to please everyone. It's not possible. I doubt there is a single person on planet earth that I'm pleasing now - without writing. I think you and I both know there is no possible option a serving my God in a modern church setting. Can't be a preacher. Can't be a missionary. No thanks on the bible teacher. What else is there? Of course. Writing. It is the perfect fit. Not only does it allow me to be creative, to venture down a path (several paths) on a journey that I started as a kid, but it allows me to wear any hat I want to. I can be a doctor. I can be an assassin. I can be a mill worker. I saw that job posting for a psychologist. I think I'll apply for that job. ;-)  So far I've been several men God uses to start the last revival on earth. I've been an angel sent to earth on a covert mission. I've been a young woman who falls in love, sees ghosts and loses nearly everything and everyone around her. I've been a truck driver in Alaska and someone who inadvertently plays with time and loses. I could be a priest charged with guarding fallen angels for judgment. I could be a young girl who must fight to keep her soul from being swallowed up into a gnostic abyss. I can be God, creating whole worlds, inhabiting them with people of my own choosing. Vessels of good and bad and maybe in between. Caricatures etched in the sand.

Feeble it may be, I think I need to resign myself to the reality that, with all its ebbs and flows, writing - being a writer - it is my life. It is my vocation.

Updated Cover for The Preparation! Check it Out !!!

So, as per typical my perfectionist tendency is, I have been increasingly disappointed in the cover for The Preparation. It was leaps and bounds better than the first cover I did for it in MS Paint, but I did not like the lettering and font choices, etc. Here is an updated (and I think improved) pre-official/pre-release cover. Hope you like it.

Stalled...Maybe She's a Dead Stick

I haven't been writing for several days. I haven't been editing for just as long. But my mind has been whirling around in my stories, unable to escape. Yesterday I was certain I would never write again and I was kicking myself for buying a domain name. Day before that I was certain I would start writing the next day. Today, who knows what's going to happen. I try not to beat myself up for it; it is what it is. Maybe I will write more sporadically than I thought. Maybe instead of 10 novels a year it will be one or two. Maybe none. Maybe twenty-five. I think what I will do is slate the future books I know I want to write and make sure they get on Amazon. Then I can see what the response is like from the public. I have two novels and one novella completed that I need to do edits on and get listed. I know I want to write Our Daughter, Oblivion, Seeing Through and Writing Tucker. After that - I don't know. I'm really excited to write Seeing Through. Writing Tucker will close the book on an old high school buddy of mine that I can't seem to find anywhere online. Oblivion is still kind of hazy on the details, but it's definitely there. Our Daughter will be the next one I write, I think.

Maybe I won't write any of them and will just spend the rest of my life reading books and exploring different subjects of interest. I think living in the woods in a camper as a fire/equipment watch, writing novels is a better use of my time, though. I guess we'll both have to just wait and see, huh?

Started Outline for a New Book

I started the initial outline work today on a new story. It does not have a title, but I can tell you a little bit about it. The story centers around a new patient of a young female psychologist who lives and works in a city [not sure which]. He was referred to her by a local area hospital for treatment of possible dissociative disorder [or depersonalization disorder, not sure which yet]. They meet for the first time and the psychologist is shocked to hear the man's story and personal beliefs. From that point forward her life begins to unravel as she explores the depths of her patient's psychosis; in the end, she discovers not all is as it appears.

Felt good to do something creative today; I've been missing it. I hope to keep a daily schedule going, where I work on all aspects of story-telling each day (not necessarily on one project, though). I will do this by writing my minimum number of words each morning. Then I will do my edits (did two chapters of the Preparation today). Then I will work on an outline, so I have several to pick from when I need a new project. I will also be doing research, for those outlines that are stuck for lack of background. I find it very rewarding to set it down and spend some time researching out background material. Today I wrote a whopping paragraph on this newest story before putting it aside, knowing full well I needed to do more research on psychology. It wasn't until then that I discovered DPD and DID and what their symptoms are. It has really broadened my approach to the story, allowing the characters to become much more real. Lastly, I will devote time each day to the marketing side of writing - doing tasks to build on the social platform, so I'm ready if ever I have a break out. If not, no biggy. I'm already living a dream now. But I still would love it if it ever happened. Lotto style. Publisher's Clearing House is coming up on the 30th. Maybe I'll get really lucky and spend Christmas on a tropical island!

Languishing...

I managed to edit a chapter and a half today on The Preparation. I so hate it, though - very much. It feels like I'll never be able to get it right, never get to the point where I can say, "Hey, this manuscript is in good shape. This story is tight and readable." I like the story; I have liked it since I first wrote it. God, I think it's been two years now, and here I am still working on editing it. Feels absolutely hopeless. 

This is just how I feel, though. Rationally, I know I need to just press on. Every day is a new opportunity for me to BE a writer. Every day is another opportunity to live in that creative haze - that world where I am a god and control the fate of countless lives, everything resting on the sheer will of my imagination. I like this world. I love my characters. I like that I'm now exploring freely - experimenting - or, at least, wanting to. I know grammar is finite, albeit often grossly subjective. There is, though, a right and a wrong way for the most part in writing - in constructing sentences, in tightening up prose. But these are simply tools writers use. Mechanics, apparati [latin ;-)] - it is not the story, though. The story is what unfolds in the writer's mind, what takes shape as he/she sits quietly in the coffee house early in the morning in Paris, watching the sunlight stretch its narrow fingers along the narrow brickwork of the surrounding buildings. It is the characters' actions and behavior - their personalities - that slowly percolate in the author's mind as they stroll along amidst their daily affairs. 

I edited a chapter and a half today. Thank God. I also did more research into Gnosticism, though it is going way too slow for me. I'm starting to feel the itch - or at least the obligation - to be writing every day again. I guess I'm missing the creating. I'm so impatient, but maybe that is a good thing.

Cover Release - The Preparation - How Does it Look?

I finished the cover for The Preparation today. I was a little skeptical about getting the concept idea I had in my head out and on the computer, but I actually like the results. I think it looks pretty good, especially since I didn't pay someone $400+ to do it, nor did I have to deal with the endless flakes out there who claim to be professionals. Anyway, without further adieu - the pre-official cover for my first, upcoming novel: The Preparation. Please tell me what you think.

 

I don't know the exact date of official release for THE PREPARATION just yet. I know it will be after Christmas, but hopefully before the summer. I really would like to get it finished and out on Amazon so I can start getting feedback - and so I can start editing IN THE MEADOW. That is one aspect of being a writer that I do not like at all: bringing a book together takes so freaking long! Even with a traditional house, you're often looking at a year or more before your book is available. When you are self-publishing [doing it all yourself], you have complete control over every aspect of your book, but you're working alone and so it still takes FOREVER. But, I just have to be the turtle; slow and steady wins the race, right?

X Factor US S01 E15 & 16 - So Long Stacey!

 I finally found the results show for the X Factor US tonight. Not sure why no one else has it. Sadly, Astro put on a terrible performance and an even worse attitude on top of it. I'll be surprised if he isn't in the bottom two again next week. But, what do you expect from a young kid like that. I guess we don't expect all that much these days.

I also got another practiced Book Cover done. I really like it. Here you go:

Everything in this cover is taken from somewhere else. I started with the background scene of the sky, which was actually a scene of the ocean. Then I grabbed a picture of the church and cut it out using the magnetic lasso; I love that thing! Then I did some shading using the gradient tool. At first this did not work out well at all, and I ended up deleting all the shading and starting over. The second time I started shading the tower, then the edges. I also noticed the bottom of the original cover is much darker, so I added that, and I really liked the outcome. Then I lightened up the shading to a gray and shaded the clouds and parts of the church. I then found the CRIME SCENE tape [didn't use the original POLICE] and figured out how to rotate it [though I doubt if I could do it again without some hunting and pecking] as it was tilted the opposite way. Oh, yeah - and the church was opposite, too. I flipped it when I first started. The words went on beautifully, now that I know how to use the stretcher thing. It makes the words any size I want - I love it. Lastly, I took [accidentally the color I was using for the lettering] the white and splashed a gradient horizontally from left to right. It was perfect! Maybe I'll start dong free book covers for writers to get the practice in. Then again, I'm getting way ahead of myself. So far I've been copying other covers, so I have the ideas ahead of time of what I'm looking for and what I can compare it to. We will see how well I do when I'm working just from a blank canvas.

Anyway, I managed to get a chapter and a half read through on THE PREPARATION today. I'm also slowly incorporating/transferring all my notes, etc into My Notes Keeper. So far this program has been running great with no glitches; I hate glitches. Also did some research on OUR DAUGHTER, studying up on Gnosticism, etc. It's pretty fascinating. I'm currently reading the Gnostic Handbook and taking notes wildly [you got it, in My Notes Keeper].

Astro, my boy - it is your contest to lose. Of course, you have to beat Drew for the top seat. Keep your attitude in check and you have a fighting chance. But, please, oh please, pick some better songs. The last few have been terrible!

Drew, keep it coming. And I agree with the judges: up tempo. Let's see you do some real rock. Try Avril next week!

Background Research for Our Daughter...

I spent most of today working on a knowledge base program called My Notes Keeper. So far it is working extremely well, and it might - almost - replace my word processor entirely. I now have tabs for all the major areas of my research: Writing [where I have outlines, manuscripts, character profiles, and all related research for story ideas], History, Science, Mathematics, Retirement, and Bible.

What I was really looking for [and what finally sold me on My Notes Keeper] was a central location/system/program to store all of my research notes that remains accessible (i.e. can print, export, save), has a relational linking ability (think wiki - but without the markup language - I want WYSIWYG), and has a universal search function that actually works. I've tried several programs in the past and none of them have ever worked. So far, My Notes Keeper is working great.

I didn't get much actual work done on the summary outline for Our Daughter, other than transferring it from the word processor doc to the MNK. I did, however, get some research put together. I found several books on PTSD in children who have been in auto accidents with a parental fatality, EMDR - supposedly the most effective therapy for PTSD - and how to implement it in your counseling practice. Needless to say, Larry has some reading to do.

How great is it that writing novels fits my lifestyle and interests so well? I would like nothing better than to spend the rest of my life in "school," learning about whatever interests me. But, only two semesters of graduate school, and I KNEW I had no desire to be an academic. I did not want to be around people all the time; I did not want to be told what I could and could not research, say, write, etc. And I HATED all the ridiculous drama that comes with academic writing - having to cite your sources and come up with something original, etc.

But, with fiction writing, I can weave fact and fantasy, reality and imagination, all together into one big boiling pot. My originality comes through in the story, in the characters. The research melds together, swirling in the background, no citation required. I get to spend my day reading up on Gnosticism without become a heretic (oh, wait, I'm already a heretic). I spent today reading up on psychology and how to treat Post Tramatic Stress Disorder in children. Tomorrow I might be studying about wormholes, or fallen angels, or who knows what else. Just with one day's reading my story line for Our Daughter has grown richer and fuller.

I also managed to edit the second chapter of The Preparation. I'm going to try and get four chapters done tomorrow. If I can do that consistently for the next 10 days, I'll finish this read through and be able to make changes. I'm hoping to get a set schedule down soon, have my routine processes established, so I can just enter a zone and start producing at break-neck speed. I would love to look up a few years from now and have 20 novels/novellas on Amazon. I definitely don't have a shortage of story ideas.

Now it's off to enjoy an evening with the crew from CSI. I miss Gil Grissom. But the serial killer doctor will do. ;-)

Still Reading, Reading, Reading...

I spent most of the day today reading, or listening to audio books while playing mind numbing video games like Atomica or Pipes or B-Jeweled or Tetris (though I don't think I ever actually played Tetris today). Topic of said books: fiction and writing fiction.

I polished off Amanda Hockings MY BLOOD APPROVES today. I think I finished the last five chapters in one setting. I love copying text over to Katie (my text to speech reader). If I tried to read that many pages with my eyes I would go batty (slow reader). Using Txt2Speech, I can burn through chapters without any trouble at all. I also finished IN STYLE, a punctuation manual - and learned very little. I also started 38 MOST COMMON FICTION WRITING MISTAKES. I would like to say I'm learning a lot, but I'm not. The closest I've come is from Stephen King's ON WRITING and I think it's more hilarious (and a nice break) than anything else. It does provide a pit of perspective, though; like I'm not trapped in a bubble all by myself with this thing called a writing career.

I have a dozen or so books I would really like to read, but I'm getting antsy because I'm neither writing nor am I editing. I have decided that when I do actually start my edits again, I definitely need to set a measurable daily goal - preferably a certain number of words edited. This is really the only way I can keep myself honest and can project with at least some level of accuracy where I'll be in said about of time on each project.

I would really like to edit 1000 words a day. I would REALLY like to get up to writing 4000 words a day, but I don't know if it's in the cards. I have several story ideas that are taking shape. But I do have some breathing time, since only one so far has been put to paper in any kind of legitimate outline form. I haven't done more because I don't yet have a dependable or effective schedule. It seems as if something always gives. If I write I dn't edit. If I write and edit, I don't work on story development. If I work on story development, then I forget to read up on marketing. It's not like I don't have the time here. I've got nothing but time. So, I know my boat is leaking, I just have to find the hole and put a freaking plug in it. 

Despite my uncomfortableness, I'm trying to give myself enough down time to get my head on straight when it comes to editing, since it is my Achilles Heel. I want to do as little work as possible for the greatest ROI, which means I have to be organized, strategic and systematic in my editing process. I can't wait until the body of work I've churned out recently is more than what I produced a year ago in my first two manuscripts. I also can't wait to have them put to bed once and for all. So far all I have to show for my new found efforts is a 100 page novella. it originally was supposed to be a 300 page novel. Yikes!

I need to get cracking. Thus explains my concern about taking time off. But, I want to do it right the first time so I don't have to go back and reinvent the wheel a third time. I'm already playing catchup to myself.

Boning Up on Writing Manuals

I spent today - my second day off from actively writing in between projects - pouring through fiction writing manuals, specifically, grammar, punctuation and self-editing books. I remember when I had finished writing IN THE MEADOW and was working on the edits for my first novel, I felt like I was drowning in sand. I felt completely overwhelmed with the editing and revising process. None of my work seemed up-to-par, I felt horribly self-conscious, and I never thought in a million years I would every get even a single positive response from agents, let alone a book deal. 

I feel better now. I may not be up yet on my board, but I don't feel like I'm going to fall off either when I get ready to stand. There's more confidence in what I'm writing - but more importantly - there's more confidence in what I'm learning. Hacking away slowly at the bad habits, at the awkwardness, no longer feeling that cold, clammy hand of self-doubt pushing my head under the sand quite as hard as it used to. It feels like all my jobs in the past have felt when I first started working. Those first few days are miserable. By the second week you're feeling better, but God you just want to figure everything out and stop making stupid mistakes. After the first month, you're pretty confident, but it doesn't mean you've seen everything and you could do your job in your sleep. No. That kind of intimate knowledge and confidence doesn't develop for a long time. Maybe a year. Maybe more. But it does eventually come - when you have mastered your job, when you have reached a superior level of proficiency. This is what I'm shooting for.

I see the physical writing process, the actual words on the page, as a kind of mechanism, a communications apparatus that I can use to expel my stories. Maybe once they are all gone, in print, I won't need to write anymore. Maybe there will never be an end. At this point I have another 13 books in mind, not counting sequels or multiple books in series - and most if not all of my books I can see having multiples.

Needless to say, it will be very interesting to see how this all shapes up. I don't really see myself developing a career, as if I'm making the conscious decision to do it. As the author said in the latest book I'm reading, "Writers write. Everyone else just makes excuses." That's what I'm finally doing; I'm writing. It doesn't matter if I make any money. It doesn't matter if I'm famous and get booked for the Letterman show. It doesn't matter if even my harshest critics (my family) finally see that I am successful. All that matters is that I write. To me, my stories are alive. I breathe them every day, whether I put them down on paper or not. At least, when I write them down, get them out of me, they don't haunt me in those sleepy-eyed moments before I go to sleep at night. Sometimes I think writing is a lot like breathing. Other times it's just pure hell.

Whatever it is - at least I'm no longer fighting it.   

Finished Manuscript of Seeking Light Aurora !!!

I finished! I think it was over a year ago when I first thought about the idea of this story. It originally started out as a short story, intended to be entry into a writing contest. After I sketched it out, and wrote the first paragraph, I scrapped it and quit writing for several months. I didn't think I had what it takes to be a writer. 

Flash forward to last month and I read a book called I Could do Anything if I Only Knew What it Was. This book was phenomenal. It helped me deal with some of the many issues related to writing, building a writing career and life in general - especially dealing with my past.

Once I got my mentality properly adjusted, and realized [decided] that I really did want to write as a vocation - and hopefully my career [professionally, i.e. get paid to do it] - I set to work and completed the summary outline for Our Daughter. Then I shelved it to get some space and worked up the summary for Seeking Light Aurora. I became so enamored with the characters in this story that I decided to write it before Our Daughter. 

It wasn't until I was about forty pages into it that I realized it was not a very long story - definitely not typical novel length. I, of course, started to worry, running that tape in my head, "You're not good enough. You can't even write a full length book. You'll never make it work. You might as well give up."

I didn't give up, though. I did a little research on novellas and discovered they work in perfectly with writing larger books. It can be used as a free give-away, it can be sold alongside other, novel length titles, etc. It can even be incorporated with several other novellas and published as a collection. It's perfect, because I really didn't want to try and add more scenes [padding] to the story line. I really like it the way it is. 

I also found out that it is best to wait on running any big marketing campaigns until I have at last four books in print and ready for public consumption. This way there are several available titles for readers to buy and read while I have new titles in the works. 

But, as for Seeking Light Aurora, she is going to bed. I have set a tentative date to pull the manuscript back out in two weeks and start editing. In the mean time, I'm going to take a few days off from active writing and try to catch up on some items on my task list. I'm also going to focus my efforts on editing The Preparation, which I think I will need to then run it though White Smoke, then another edit. I did discover [via several blog articles] how to pre-process a manuscript for editing by find/replace with formatting for trouble words, like -ly's and then and that and my dreaded ." instead of ," . I now have a whole list of words that I go through and highlight in the text before I ever begin. It really makes them stand out and it will make it much easier to tell I'm making progress. I also found a edit hack blog, though I think they have stopped updating it.  

I also want to focus some significant time on reading/working through the grammar/English/writing books I have, and also the software and exercises available online. My goal is to hack my writing process to the point that I am producing much better work exponentially rather than sequentially or worse, remain flat-lined in my growth as a writer. I'm really starting to embrace the idea of developing my craft as a writer and also I think I might actually enjoy the marketing aspects online. It's just the face to face interaction I never could stomach. 

At any rate, here's to trying.

Quick Writing Today...

Well, I was a bit surprised at how easily the words flowed out of me this morning. I almost took the day off, too. When I got up I was again late by an hour. As I opened the gate and headed into the main house to take a shower, it hit me that all I really wanted to do was go back to bed and find a good movie to watched. But, I pushed myself and tried to snap out of it.

I got to my computer about two hours later and fired up the Aurora file and away I went. On one of the last scenes and the descriptions just unfolded like they were an old, familiar book I hadn't seen in years. I love writing.

I'm really excited to be almost done. I got around 1200 words in today, but not very much in way of editing THE PREPARATION. I really hate editing. It's so boring and tedious. I just want to run it through a program that will clean it all up for me. I want an editor on call that I can just email the manuscript off to and it will come back a shiny new bestseller. Of course, the real world doesn't work like that. I don't think it even works like that for traditional authors who have a whole staff working with them to get a book out. 

My plan is to finish this edit [I'm currently on chapter 7 and there are 42 chapters in the book] and then run each scene through White Smoke. Then I plan to put it away for about a week, coming back to do a final read through/edit (but hopefully only light). Then once more through White Smoke and then format, covert to .mobi format (or whatever Kindle needs) and plan a release date. Then I have to look at setting up a blog tour and whatever other promotional avenues I plan to take. I think at that point (before) the actual release, I'll need to write up a business/marketing plan for the individual book in particular: define what my short, mid, long range goals are, what kind of profit I'm hoping to generate, what my benchmarks will look like and how I will measure my progress, etc. Should be fun. What is nice is that it all can be done online. This is what really attracted me back to publishing and writing. I don't work well face to face. I really just don't like the idea of sitting in a physical book store 8-16 hours a day on a signing tour trying to pump people to buy, shaking hands, doing small talk. I much prefer doing my reader interaction over the internet, asynchronous. It's so intuitive for me, I doubt that I would consider it work at all. Ever. 

Editing, on the other hand, I consider grueling, tedious, laborious, gut-wrenching, eye gouging WORK!!!! 

Over 1200 and a New Practice Book Cover

So, I got off on a TERRIBLE start today! Well, it wasn't terrible as much as it was just late, late, late. Got up an hour later than I was supposed to. Then dinked around in the office too long [watching Las Vegas] and so I didn't get back out to my laptop until at least 7am. Then a client came. 7:30am. Then an unscheduled one came. 8am. By that point I had to address all the issues with our current stays. 9am [slap forehead now, please].

I didn't really get started writing until 11am, but - thankfully - I was raring to go. I thought I would finish SEEKING LIGHT AURORA today, but the story had some additional scenes that I was unaware of until I started writing today. I love it when that happens. So, I pretty certain I'll finish it within the next day or two. I think it will come in around 20K for a word count. But, last night I went on a quest to find out how novellas were formatted and what kind of length we're looking at. They have chapters, but there tends to be just one scene per chapter rather than multiple. I found several for sale on Amazon that were between 60 and 150 pages. I found several Stephen King novellas that only came in at 50 pages. So, needless to say, I think that is great. At this point, I will probably just release it as an e-book novella, but I might use it to test out the new POD printer I'm considering. Though I think I will probably go with CreateSpace, simply because it is the easiest and most cost effective way to get listed on Amazon for print books. We will see.

I also did a new practice book cover and I do not necessarily like it. It is for Koontz's Odd Hours, and I think it looks really good as a thumbnail, but when it's bigger, I can really pick out what's wrong with it. I definitely didn't take my time on this one. But, nonetheless, here it is.

New Practice Book Cover...Odd Thomas

So I'm trying to hack book cover design because of the negative experiences I've had thus far with graphic artists and because I'm SO VERY CHEAP there is no way I'm paying $600 or more for a picture for a book. This goes double since an indie author like Hocking can sell a million dollars worth of her books with the terribly simple covers she has.

I have downloaded covers for a bunch of thriller, horror books and I'm trying to reproduce them from scratch in Photoshop. It's not the point to produce them exactly - I have neither the skill not the natural talent as an artist - but it will serve me well enough when I start designing my own covers for ebook and print distribution.

So, here is my latest Practice Book Cover for Dean Koontz's Odd Thomas. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think.

Believe it or Not - Exactly 1234 Words Today !!

I am having a pretty good day so far. It's not even 9am yet and I've written over a thousand words [almost finished with SEEKING LIGHT AURORA], already finished with my only two clients I had scheduled today and also got some cleaning in on the facility. It feels good to have a sense of accomplishment. Much better than feeling like your behind all the time or things are falling through the cracks. I credit my sense of stability to David Allen's Getting Things Done system. It is wonderful. I will do a review on it in the near future. 

Also News Update: I now have a TLD for my website as an author. It is www.stevenveach.com . I finally pulled the trigger last night while I was watching tv. I was originally going to go with one registrar because they were offering a new domain for $4.99, first year, $10 after that. But, they say the devil is in the details, so on closer inspection, it looks as if they do not provide domain masking except for those people who have hosting plans with them. That's defeats the purpose of having a domain forward to an out-of-box service like blogger. I want to keep costs down [translated: non-existent] until I gain an actual paying audience. So hosting my own blog/website is out of the picture for the foreseeable future. With the mydomains.com I know they offer masking, so it works great. I also found a coupon online and got almost $2 off my first year! Yah!

My 2.0 website [hosted, possibly contracting a web designer] will have a static website + an updated blog design integrated. At least, this is the plan. Have to rustle up a readership though first. 

I am two scenes away from finishing the first draft of SEEKING LIGHT AURORA. I'm quite pleased with what I have produced here, though I'm debating on whether I should release it as a novella or beef it up with additional scenes to make it into a novel. It's probably going to be at 100 pages when I'm done [currently it's 19556 words] and I really don't see where I could add anything worthwhile to the story. I think I will leave it as it is and just release it on Amazon as an ebook, see what kind of traction it can get. Thoughts like that remind me of the dancing frog. That's what I see my books as. Very exciting - I have found in my stories this energetic, dancing frog; it is literally a miracle to see. But every time I put the frog out in front of an audience, all I hear is crickets chirping. The enthralling sound of perpetual obscurity. Every author's death nail.

Nothing I can do about that, though. I just have to keep writing, keep adding to my communication platform, to my author brand and maybe - as J.A. Konrath puts it - maybe I'll get lucky. ;-) Here's to getting lucky as an author.

500+ Words Today and I think 1000+ Yesterday, but who's really counting...

I got a late start this morning. I've found myself in the distracting habit of staying up too late at night and then resetting my alarms in the morning to sleep in an extra hour. this throws me off and puts my writing after my first few hours of work - very disheartening. And talk about self-doubt. It has really been creeping in lately, and it is very irksome.

But, I did manage to knock out 500 or so words this morning, in spite of the nocturnal rigmarole. And I forgot to post my writing for yesterday, and I took out my markers in the text, so I can only give a good guess [I'm thinking 1000, but who really knows].

I'm now debating on whether or not I should get a top level domain. You know, the .com situation. It's actually pretty fooling for me to be trying to talk myself out of it. I guess I'm just nervous that I'll quit writing tomorrow and then I'll have wasted $4.99. Come on, Steven! Buck up! Just get it done.

The big reasons to get the TLD are:

• The .com for my name is available again. I guess Steven Veach, the photographer, decided to get a day job. 
• It could serve as good motivation for me to keep going, since I spent some money on my writing platform. 
• My Blogger blog could be deleted at any time for any reason, and if I'm using there domain .blogspot.com, any readership/fan base that I develop in the future could be jeopardized. With my own TLD, if the blog is ever deleted, I just redirect to a new host, and upload my blog backups and Voila! Back in business. 

Now for the reasons not to get the TLD:

• I don't want to waste the money if I'm just going to quit tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year.
• Amanda Hocking became a millionaire on a .blogspot.com domain. 
• Google doesn't care what kind of domain you have but what content you have. 
• I've already run across the issue of putting a TLD in print material [i.e. book covers], only to quit and let the domain lapse. Now I have to go back change it all. It's easier of course now with a PDF editing program, but before it was a pain in the neck.  

I've pretty much decided to pull the trigger today. I even got my wallet out of my computer bag so it's right next to me. But, for now, it's time to find some food. Oh, refrigerator. Where are you?

Bones TV, Book Editing, Handbook Reading...

I struggled to get THE PREPARATION editing work done today. I just can't stand editing. It's driving me bonkers and primarily because I don't feel up to the task - I don't feel as if I am good enough to edit or that I will ever be good enough to produce something of any worth. But, such is the nature of self-doubt. I did do it and I think that's what's important. Really important. Doesn't matter so much if "today's" edits were "good" or not. It matters more that I went through the process and pressed on in spite of my doubts, in spite of my fear of failure, in spite of my desire to just pack it in and sit back and enjoy the X Factor tonight (UK - Go Kitty!).

I have been contemplating getting a top level domain, but I just haven't pulled the trigger yet. I can even get it for less than $5 for the first year. That's half off! Who knows what will be happening or where my career will be in a year. I need to just do it and set it up. Get a platform established. Like they say, "If you build it, they will come."

I also got several Social Media Marketing books today. I plan to jump up my game on my reading [I hope to] and get caught up and get way ahead. I have a lot of titles to get through, so maybe I need to cut back a little on the telli box for awhile. It's not like I'm going to miss out on anything when the internet is my own personal DVR.

So, I'm off to watch another X Factor UK extravaganza. It's double elimination this week! Yikes!

UPDATE: Hey! I almost forgot! Bones Season 7 Episode 1 was on tonight? No the other night. I had it saved on my hard drive. It was pretty good. Same old explanation drama [which drives me crazy], but at least Bones and Booth are together and having a baby! They saved the show.

729 Words [The Calories in a Totino's Pizza]

Totino's Pepperoni Pizza is my FAVORITE frozen pizza. It contains exactly 729 calories in one box. And this is how many words [exactly] that I wrote this morning. I wrote a pizza worth today. ;-)

I will say, writing today was difficult. I struggled to get the words down and the story seems to be floundering under a lot of self-doubt and negative personal criticism. Just a part of the territory, I suppose. When in doubt, I just have to keep writing. Pizza helps. Especially Totino's.

On a brighter side of things, I added a few more things to the blog, and I think [maybe] I will be getting a top level domain soon and have a static website, along with my blog here. I know Amanda Hocking does not have a static site [yet]. I'm sure the good people at St. Martin's Press will be putting one up for her soon. So, it is probably better to say, Amanda Hocking became a successful Indie writer without a top level domain. I just can't stand the cost, even if it is only $10. And I can even get it for a few dollars the first year and I'm still struggling to get it. I think the biggest resistance is - I worry that I'm going to wake up tomorrow and quit writing again. Then I'll have wasted that money on a domain that I'll just let lapse again. I've done it before. www.stevenveach.com is available again. It used to be owned by a Steven who is an artist. Apparently he doesn't keep domains alive either.

Anyway, I figured you would like my pizza word mash this morning. It's making me hungry. And I even have Totino's Pizza in the freezer! Yum!

Skipped a Day

I managed to knock out 1100+ words this morning and also finished editing a scene with Campbell Shaw in THE PREPARATION. Editing is, by far, the worst part of writing books. I literally hate it most of the time. Going over my writing again and again, even though I know I'm going to miss something, constantly thinking my work is never good enough, knowing full-well someone is going to find an error and use that one error as reason to give me a bad review. I just have to shrug, and throw my hands up in the air. Just keep plugging away at it. Tomorrow is another day. The more I mull it over in my mind, the more I feel my personality and disposition are perfect for a writing career. So I just have to keep editing and not worry about it.

I also have been thinking that SEEKING LIGHT AURORA will end up being a novella, simply because it will be only around 25,000-50,000 words when I'm finished. It's a short/quick story and most of it takes place in one room, or at least 90% of it does. We will see. It will definitely be a $0.99 center on Amazon. I'm pretty excited about it, though. I'm curious to find out what others think.

In other news, at the recommendation of my cousin, I started a new TV series yesterday called The Walking Dead. I saw a preview of it and thought it pretty hokey, but on his insistence, I watched the first episode and ended up downloading a bunch more. It's really good so far. I like zombie movies for the most part, if they are well done. My favorites are: 28 Days Later/28 Weeks Later and Resident Evil 1, 2, 3, 4 [not the cartoon, no thanks]. If you get a chance watch The Walking Dead on AMC. It's great!

Amazon Author Central - Great People !!!

So last night I discovered Amazon's Author Central and signed up for a page. Then I discovered they had my name listed fully [First, Middle, Last] and I don't use my middle name anymore for my writing, so I emailed them, asking to take my middle name out.

Within 24 hours my middle name was gone and the person working on my ticket even set me a personal email telling me it was done. She said she loved reading my bio and that she was "also waiting!" [It's the same bio that is on this website so look to the right] Needless to say, that was a great boost for an otherwise pretty crappy day. No typical theological ranting, no denominational slamming: just the purity and simplicity of witness and edification. Two people passing by, ever so briefly communicating with one another, surely never to cross paths again for the rest of our lives - and, yet, we managed to both impact each other with words. And that's all it takes. You don't need money or vast organizations. All you need is words - maybe a paragraph will do, maybe just a sentence, maybe all it will take is a phrase. In this case, it was the simple message at the bottom of my bio:

I await the return of Christ.....