So it's been over a month since I posted to this blog, a month and 1/2 since I edited any of my work and two months since writing anything new. As of a week ago I was completely convinced that this new re-launch of a supposed writing career was dead, but here I am this morning trying to reboot, negotiating with myself some way to get back into the game.
I'm starving for legitimacy. I think this is much if not all of my problem. It's not the business, since traditional publishing is no longer a barrier to 7 figure success. Just ask Amanda Hocking. Jesus, I only need $500 a month to live comfortably!
It is the marketing aspect of the book business that I can't stomach, though. Peddling my wares like a snake oil charlatan. I'm letting it get in the way of my writing. Here I am, sitting on two novels and a novella and I am so close (but oh so far) from the finish line.
But it's back to that legitimacy song and dance again. The deal I've verbalized (in my head) this time goes like this: I just need to edit the books I have written and put them on Kindle. If they take off or even mildly sell (I would be happy with selling just one book!) then that may be the motivation I need to write another book. My research won't stop. I don't research just for my books. I research because I love to learn and explore, just not in an overly academic fashion. Well, I use a pretty studious methodology, I just don't like the limits placed on me by academia (can't use Wikipedia? How stupid is that? Stop trying to protect your book sales).
But maybe this burden in me to write, to create, will finally be quenched if I get several books out there available to the public and they don't sell. I could say I tried it, that I put out the effort - crap, I've already written three - and then go on my merry way just researching and learning for my own sake and piecing together a coherent theory of Everything. But, what if my books take off? What if I start moving units like Hocking. I've read her book. I don't see any difference between her writing and mine. There are plenty of errors throughout it, both grammatical and editorial. I'm never going to please everyone. It's not possible. I doubt there is a single person on planet earth that I'm pleasing now - without writing. I think you and I both know there is no possible option a serving my God in a modern church setting. Can't be a preacher. Can't be a missionary. No thanks on the bible teacher. What else is there? Of course. Writing. It is the perfect fit. Not only does it allow me to be creative, to venture down a path (several paths) on a journey that I started as a kid, but it allows me to wear any hat I want to. I can be a doctor. I can be an assassin. I can be a mill worker. I saw that job posting for a psychologist. I think I'll apply for that job. ;-) So far I've been several men God uses to start the last revival on earth. I've been an angel sent to earth on a covert mission. I've been a young woman who falls in love, sees ghosts and loses nearly everything and everyone around her. I've been a truck driver in Alaska and someone who inadvertently plays with time and loses. I could be a priest charged with guarding fallen angels for judgment. I could be a young girl who must fight to keep her soul from being swallowed up into a gnostic abyss. I can be God, creating whole worlds, inhabiting them with people of my own choosing. Vessels of good and bad and maybe in between. Caricatures etched in the sand.
Feeble it may be, I think I need to resign myself to the reality that, with all its ebbs and flows, writing - being a writer - it is my life. It is my vocation.
Showing posts with label Editing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Editing. Show all posts
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Monday, December 12, 2011
Stalled...Maybe She's a Dead Stick
I haven't been writing for several days. I haven't been editing for just as long. But my mind has been whirling around in my stories, unable to escape. Yesterday I was certain I would never write again and I was kicking myself for buying a domain name. Day before that I was certain I would start writing the next day. Today, who knows what's going to happen. I try not to beat myself up for it; it is what it is. Maybe I will write more sporadically than I thought. Maybe instead of 10 novels a year it will be one or two. Maybe none. Maybe twenty-five. I think what I will do is slate the future books I know I want to write and make sure they get on Amazon. Then I can see what the response is like from the public. I have two novels and one novella completed that I need to do edits on and get listed. I know I want to write Our Daughter, Oblivion, Seeing Through and Writing Tucker. After that - I don't know. I'm really excited to write Seeing Through. Writing Tucker will close the book on an old high school buddy of mine that I can't seem to find anywhere online. Oblivion is still kind of hazy on the details, but it's definitely there. Our Daughter will be the next one I write, I think.
Maybe I won't write any of them and will just spend the rest of my life reading books and exploring different subjects of interest. I think living in the woods in a camper as a fire/equipment watch, writing novels is a better use of my time, though. I guess we'll both have to just wait and see, huh?
Maybe I won't write any of them and will just spend the rest of my life reading books and exploring different subjects of interest. I think living in the woods in a camper as a fire/equipment watch, writing novels is a better use of my time, though. I guess we'll both have to just wait and see, huh?
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Managed Back to Editing - Finally
I don't know what it is nor do I understand it - this demon of self-doubt. I was cruising along, making a great deal of production, research - managed to get out a novella in record time - and then I hit it, like a car wreck. Suddenly I can't write any more because I have no stories that are ready (have a finished outline for). Suddenly I find myself wasting my time away each day watching tv shows or listening to an audiobook on how to study better "for research." Then comes along this tiny morsel of doubt, crawling into a minute crevasse in the armor I attempted to built up, like acid eating away at the marrow of my writing.
Then, just when I think, "here we go again" (I think it's terribly disappointing that I can recognize the feeling now, but still can't do anything about it when it comes), in walks another story idea, propping up my ego, just hinting (indirectly) at the possibility that I might have an inkling of talent, that I might still be able to do this thing.
I get out my trusty calculator and do some quick math - again. $150k. That's my golden ticket; that's my chocolate bar. It's all I need to retire and live the life of my dreams. I DON'T EVEN NEED TO MAKE ANY MONEY AT WRITING!!!! EVER!!!! But that does not sit well with my psyche for some reason. No, it keeps telling me, trying to convince me: you are not a success unless you have made money; you need to make Stephen King money, or Koontz money, or Grisham money. Hell, you need to at least make Hocking money, right?
At this point, I don't know who will win this war. I guess we will see if my books ever actually make it onto Amazon. We will see where I'm at in 9.1 years, when I'm scheduled to retire. I know I won't stop learning. And I still can't figure out why that's a bad thing - retire when I'm 45, live in a pickup truck in the woods, spend my days taking long walks, reading books, listening to lectures and studying the bible. How could that be a bad life? Yet, it's there - nagging. Telling me that my choices in life are simply illegitimate. I don't have a wife and kids, I don't have a mortgage payment, car payments, a career, etc. But, what a minute. Isn't that the freaking point? Isn't that the reason to adopt my desired lifestyle in the first place? I had all that other crap and it's just that - worthless crap. It's a bucket of crabs. Who wants that? I know, lots of people do, apparently. But why should I be criticized for breaking free from that bucket if I can? Deep down I know what my problem is; I'm listening to the crabs. I've made the break, or at least I'm at the rim of the bucket, looking out over the side, and yet here I am listening to the crabs under me. She's telling me that life outside the bucket is no good, not legitimate, no a worthy life.
A better question should be: why doesn't she want me to leave?
Maybe she's a true believer. She knows life in the bucket is nothing but misery, but who's to say that life outside the bucket is a bed of roses? Maybe she has scummed to the notion that misery loves company. She has wasted her life in the bucket (kids, family, husband, all for what) and can't fathom anyone else, especially one of the crabs in her bucket finding genuine happiness in anything else besides what she agrees with. Maybe this crab simply can't live without misery, without controversy, without drama. I really think it becomes a drug for those who are perpetually miserable. They seem to have lived with and in misery for so long they know nothing else. I simply don't know.
My problem is: I'm still listening to the crabs.
My solution: Listen to something (or someone) else.
Then, just when I think, "here we go again" (I think it's terribly disappointing that I can recognize the feeling now, but still can't do anything about it when it comes), in walks another story idea, propping up my ego, just hinting (indirectly) at the possibility that I might have an inkling of talent, that I might still be able to do this thing.
I get out my trusty calculator and do some quick math - again. $150k. That's my golden ticket; that's my chocolate bar. It's all I need to retire and live the life of my dreams. I DON'T EVEN NEED TO MAKE ANY MONEY AT WRITING!!!! EVER!!!! But that does not sit well with my psyche for some reason. No, it keeps telling me, trying to convince me: you are not a success unless you have made money; you need to make Stephen King money, or Koontz money, or Grisham money. Hell, you need to at least make Hocking money, right?
At this point, I don't know who will win this war. I guess we will see if my books ever actually make it onto Amazon. We will see where I'm at in 9.1 years, when I'm scheduled to retire. I know I won't stop learning. And I still can't figure out why that's a bad thing - retire when I'm 45, live in a pickup truck in the woods, spend my days taking long walks, reading books, listening to lectures and studying the bible. How could that be a bad life? Yet, it's there - nagging. Telling me that my choices in life are simply illegitimate. I don't have a wife and kids, I don't have a mortgage payment, car payments, a career, etc. But, what a minute. Isn't that the freaking point? Isn't that the reason to adopt my desired lifestyle in the first place? I had all that other crap and it's just that - worthless crap. It's a bucket of crabs. Who wants that? I know, lots of people do, apparently. But why should I be criticized for breaking free from that bucket if I can? Deep down I know what my problem is; I'm listening to the crabs. I've made the break, or at least I'm at the rim of the bucket, looking out over the side, and yet here I am listening to the crabs under me. She's telling me that life outside the bucket is no good, not legitimate, no a worthy life.
A better question should be: why doesn't she want me to leave?
Maybe she's a true believer. She knows life in the bucket is nothing but misery, but who's to say that life outside the bucket is a bed of roses? Maybe she has scummed to the notion that misery loves company. She has wasted her life in the bucket (kids, family, husband, all for what) and can't fathom anyone else, especially one of the crabs in her bucket finding genuine happiness in anything else besides what she agrees with. Maybe this crab simply can't live without misery, without controversy, without drama. I really think it becomes a drug for those who are perpetually miserable. They seem to have lived with and in misery for so long they know nothing else. I simply don't know.
My problem is: I'm still listening to the crabs.
My solution: Listen to something (or someone) else.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Languishing...
I managed to edit a chapter and a half today on The Preparation. I so hate it, though - very much. It feels like I'll never be able to get it right, never get to the point where I can say, "Hey, this manuscript is in good shape. This story is tight and readable." I like the story; I have liked it since I first wrote it. God, I think it's been two years now, and here I am still working on editing it. Feels absolutely hopeless.
This is just how I feel, though. Rationally, I know I need to just press on. Every day is a new opportunity for me to BE a writer. Every day is another opportunity to live in that creative haze - that world where I am a god and control the fate of countless lives, everything resting on the sheer will of my imagination. I like this world. I love my characters. I like that I'm now exploring freely - experimenting - or, at least, wanting to. I know grammar is finite, albeit often grossly subjective. There is, though, a right and a wrong way for the most part in writing - in constructing sentences, in tightening up prose. But these are simply tools writers use. Mechanics, apparati [latin ;-)] - it is not the story, though. The story is what unfolds in the writer's mind, what takes shape as he/she sits quietly in the coffee house early in the morning in Paris, watching the sunlight stretch its narrow fingers along the narrow brickwork of the surrounding buildings. It is the characters' actions and behavior - their personalities - that slowly percolate in the author's mind as they stroll along amidst their daily affairs.
I edited a chapter and a half today. Thank God. I also did more research into Gnosticism, though it is going way too slow for me. I'm starting to feel the itch - or at least the obligation - to be writing every day again. I guess I'm missing the creating. I'm so impatient, but maybe that is a good thing.
This is just how I feel, though. Rationally, I know I need to just press on. Every day is a new opportunity for me to BE a writer. Every day is another opportunity to live in that creative haze - that world where I am a god and control the fate of countless lives, everything resting on the sheer will of my imagination. I like this world. I love my characters. I like that I'm now exploring freely - experimenting - or, at least, wanting to. I know grammar is finite, albeit often grossly subjective. There is, though, a right and a wrong way for the most part in writing - in constructing sentences, in tightening up prose. But these are simply tools writers use. Mechanics, apparati [latin ;-)] - it is not the story, though. The story is what unfolds in the writer's mind, what takes shape as he/she sits quietly in the coffee house early in the morning in Paris, watching the sunlight stretch its narrow fingers along the narrow brickwork of the surrounding buildings. It is the characters' actions and behavior - their personalities - that slowly percolate in the author's mind as they stroll along amidst their daily affairs.
I edited a chapter and a half today. Thank God. I also did more research into Gnosticism, though it is going way too slow for me. I'm starting to feel the itch - or at least the obligation - to be writing every day again. I guess I'm missing the creating. I'm so impatient, but maybe that is a good thing.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Cover Release - The Preparation - How Does it Look?
I finished the cover for The Preparation today. I was a little skeptical about getting the concept idea I had in my head out and on the computer, but I actually like the results. I think it looks pretty good, especially since I didn't pay someone $400+ to do it, nor did I have to deal with the endless flakes out there who claim to be professionals. Anyway, without further adieu - the pre-official cover for my first, upcoming novel: The Preparation. Please tell me what you think.
I don't know the exact date of official release for THE PREPARATION just yet. I know it will be after Christmas, but hopefully before the summer. I really would like to get it finished and out on Amazon so I can start getting feedback - and so I can start editing IN THE MEADOW. That is one aspect of being a writer that I do not like at all: bringing a book together takes so freaking long! Even with a traditional house, you're often looking at a year or more before your book is available. When you are self-publishing [doing it all yourself], you have complete control over every aspect of your book, but you're working alone and so it still takes FOREVER. But, I just have to be the turtle; slow and steady wins the race, right?
Friday, November 18, 2011
X Factor US S01 E15 & 16 - So Long Stacey!
I also got another practiced Book Cover done. I really like it. Here you go:
Everything in this cover is taken from somewhere else. I started with the background scene of the sky, which was actually a scene of the ocean. Then I grabbed a picture of the church and cut it out using the magnetic lasso; I love that thing! Then I did some shading using the gradient tool. At first this did not work out well at all, and I ended up deleting all the shading and starting over. The second time I started shading the tower, then the edges. I also noticed the bottom of the original cover is much darker, so I added that, and I really liked the outcome. Then I lightened up the shading to a gray and shaded the clouds and parts of the church. I then found the CRIME SCENE tape [didn't use the original POLICE] and figured out how to rotate it [though I doubt if I could do it again without some hunting and pecking] as it was tilted the opposite way. Oh, yeah - and the church was opposite, too. I flipped it when I first started. The words went on beautifully, now that I know how to use the stretcher thing. It makes the words any size I want - I love it. Lastly, I took [accidentally the color I was using for the lettering] the white and splashed a gradient horizontally from left to right. It was perfect! Maybe I'll start dong free book covers for writers to get the practice in. Then again, I'm getting way ahead of myself. So far I've been copying other covers, so I have the ideas ahead of time of what I'm looking for and what I can compare it to. We will see how well I do when I'm working just from a blank canvas.
Anyway, I managed to get a chapter and a half read through on THE PREPARATION today. I'm also slowly incorporating/transferring all my notes, etc into My Notes Keeper. So far this program has been running great with no glitches; I hate glitches. Also did some research on OUR DAUGHTER, studying up on Gnosticism, etc. It's pretty fascinating. I'm currently reading the Gnostic Handbook and taking notes wildly [you got it, in My Notes Keeper].
Astro, my boy - it is your contest to lose. Of course, you have to beat Drew for the top seat. Keep your attitude in check and you have a fighting chance. But, please, oh please, pick some better songs. The last few have been terrible!
Drew, keep it coming. And I agree with the judges: up tempo. Let's see you do some real rock. Try Avril next week!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
New Schedule - New Book Cover Design - Transform Tool
I have been in the zone today. Using the My Notes Keeper program and putting together yet another daily schedule, I think I've gotten more work done today than all of last week combined! I even got an algebra video watched! What?! Also did a chapter in The Preparation edits; the new approach is working great.
First I want to show everyone my newest book cover. This is for T.R. Ragan's book Abducted. I have not read it, but I guess I should, huh? I'll look for it; I might already have it. The rain has been coming down almost non-stop today. Non-the-less, on with the cover.
I think this cover is MUCH better than my previous ones, and isn't that the point? I'm sure those who are actually graphic artists can tell the girl has been lifted from another picture and put into this one. Hey, I never claimed to be an artist, I just play one on the internet. ;-) One victory I had in this cover was discovering the Transform Tool in Edit. I kept struggling with my fonts, setting it to 72 and most being about half the size I needed. So I looked it up and some smart ass on a yahoo answers page told someone a year ago how to use the tool to make the text as big as they wanted. I so love the internet. I get to be a part of virtually every conversation that has ever existed - barring chatrooms (and who really wants to be a part of those conversations anyway). I was also able to get the fade tool to work a little better (that is read: I didn't know what I was doing), allowing me more control over shading, etc. It's so much better than those MS Paint days!
Well, I better get back to it. I took an extra hour on the cover, so I'm behind. Also did some work on the Summary Outline for Our Daughter. It's amazing how just a little research can open so many doors when you're stuck in the middle of a story. I would have to disagree with Tim Ferriss. I don't think research for its own sake is a waste of time, at least, not for me. I guess most of my research now is directed by my current or upcoming story, so maybe he is right after all. Go Tim!
First I want to show everyone my newest book cover. This is for T.R. Ragan's book Abducted. I have not read it, but I guess I should, huh? I'll look for it; I might already have it. The rain has been coming down almost non-stop today. Non-the-less, on with the cover.
I think this cover is MUCH better than my previous ones, and isn't that the point? I'm sure those who are actually graphic artists can tell the girl has been lifted from another picture and put into this one. Hey, I never claimed to be an artist, I just play one on the internet. ;-) One victory I had in this cover was discovering the Transform Tool in Edit. I kept struggling with my fonts, setting it to 72 and most being about half the size I needed. So I looked it up and some smart ass on a yahoo answers page told someone a year ago how to use the tool to make the text as big as they wanted. I so love the internet. I get to be a part of virtually every conversation that has ever existed - barring chatrooms (and who really wants to be a part of those conversations anyway). I was also able to get the fade tool to work a little better (that is read: I didn't know what I was doing), allowing me more control over shading, etc. It's so much better than those MS Paint days!
Well, I better get back to it. I took an extra hour on the cover, so I'm behind. Also did some work on the Summary Outline for Our Daughter. It's amazing how just a little research can open so many doors when you're stuck in the middle of a story. I would have to disagree with Tim Ferriss. I don't think research for its own sake is a waste of time, at least, not for me. I guess most of my research now is directed by my current or upcoming story, so maybe he is right after all. Go Tim!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Background Research for Our Daughter...
What I was really looking for [and what finally sold me on My Notes Keeper] was a central location/system/program to store all of my research notes that remains accessible (i.e. can print, export, save), has a relational linking ability (think wiki - but without the markup language - I want WYSIWYG), and has a universal search function that actually works. I've tried several programs in the past and none of them have ever worked. So far, My Notes Keeper is working great.
I didn't get much actual work done on the summary outline for Our Daughter, other than transferring it from the word processor doc to the MNK. I did, however, get some research put together. I found several books on PTSD in children who have been in auto accidents with a parental fatality, EMDR - supposedly the most effective therapy for PTSD - and how to implement it in your counseling practice. Needless to say, Larry has some reading to do.
How great is it that writing novels fits my lifestyle and interests so well? I would like nothing better than to spend the rest of my life in "school," learning about whatever interests me. But, only two semesters of graduate school, and I KNEW I had no desire to be an academic. I did not want to be around people all the time; I did not want to be told what I could and could not research, say, write, etc. And I HATED all the ridiculous drama that comes with academic writing - having to cite your sources and come up with something original, etc.
But, with fiction writing, I can weave fact and fantasy, reality and imagination, all together into one big boiling pot. My originality comes through in the story, in the characters. The research melds together, swirling in the background, no citation required. I get to spend my day reading up on Gnosticism without become a heretic (oh, wait, I'm already a heretic). I spent today reading up on psychology and how to treat Post Tramatic Stress Disorder in children. Tomorrow I might be studying about wormholes, or fallen angels, or who knows what else. Just with one day's reading my story line for Our Daughter has grown richer and fuller.
I also managed to edit the second chapter of The Preparation. I'm going to try and get four chapters done tomorrow. If I can do that consistently for the next 10 days, I'll finish this read through and be able to make changes. I'm hoping to get a set schedule down soon, have my routine processes established, so I can just enter a zone and start producing at break-neck speed. I would love to look up a few years from now and have 20 novels/novellas on Amazon. I definitely don't have a shortage of story ideas.
Now it's off to enjoy an evening with the crew from CSI. I miss Gil Grissom. But the serial killer doctor will do. ;-)
Monday, November 14, 2011
Still Reading, Reading, Reading...
I spent most of the day today reading, or listening to audio books while playing mind numbing video games like Atomica or Pipes or B-Jeweled or Tetris (though I don't think I ever actually played Tetris today). Topic of said books: fiction and writing fiction.
I polished off Amanda Hockings MY BLOOD APPROVES today. I think I finished the last five chapters in one setting. I love copying text over to Katie (my text to speech reader). If I tried to read that many pages with my eyes I would go batty (slow reader). Using Txt2Speech, I can burn through chapters without any trouble at all. I also finished IN STYLE, a punctuation manual - and learned very little. I also started 38 MOST COMMON FICTION WRITING MISTAKES. I would like to say I'm learning a lot, but I'm not. The closest I've come is from Stephen King's ON WRITING and I think it's more hilarious (and a nice break) than anything else. It does provide a pit of perspective, though; like I'm not trapped in a bubble all by myself with this thing called a writing career.
I have a dozen or so books I would really like to read, but I'm getting antsy because I'm neither writing nor am I editing. I have decided that when I do actually start my edits again, I definitely need to set a measurable daily goal - preferably a certain number of words edited. This is really the only way I can keep myself honest and can project with at least some level of accuracy where I'll be in said about of time on each project.
I would really like to edit 1000 words a day. I would REALLY like to get up to writing 4000 words a day, but I don't know if it's in the cards. I have several story ideas that are taking shape. But I do have some breathing time, since only one so far has been put to paper in any kind of legitimate outline form. I haven't done more because I don't yet have a dependable or effective schedule. It seems as if something always gives. If I write I dn't edit. If I write and edit, I don't work on story development. If I work on story development, then I forget to read up on marketing. It's not like I don't have the time here. I've got nothing but time. So, I know my boat is leaking, I just have to find the hole and put a freaking plug in it.
Despite my uncomfortableness, I'm trying to give myself enough down time to get my head on straight when it comes to editing, since it is my Achilles Heel. I want to do as little work as possible for the greatest ROI, which means I have to be organized, strategic and systematic in my editing process. I can't wait until the body of work I've churned out recently is more than what I produced a year ago in my first two manuscripts. I also can't wait to have them put to bed once and for all. So far all I have to show for my new found efforts is a 100 page novella. it originally was supposed to be a 300 page novel. Yikes!
I need to get cracking. Thus explains my concern about taking time off. But, I want to do it right the first time so I don't have to go back and reinvent the wheel a third time. I'm already playing catchup to myself.
I have a dozen or so books I would really like to read, but I'm getting antsy because I'm neither writing nor am I editing. I have decided that when I do actually start my edits again, I definitely need to set a measurable daily goal - preferably a certain number of words edited. This is really the only way I can keep myself honest and can project with at least some level of accuracy where I'll be in said about of time on each project.
I would really like to edit 1000 words a day. I would REALLY like to get up to writing 4000 words a day, but I don't know if it's in the cards. I have several story ideas that are taking shape. But I do have some breathing time, since only one so far has been put to paper in any kind of legitimate outline form. I haven't done more because I don't yet have a dependable or effective schedule. It seems as if something always gives. If I write I dn't edit. If I write and edit, I don't work on story development. If I work on story development, then I forget to read up on marketing. It's not like I don't have the time here. I've got nothing but time. So, I know my boat is leaking, I just have to find the hole and put a freaking plug in it.
I need to get cracking. Thus explains my concern about taking time off. But, I want to do it right the first time so I don't have to go back and reinvent the wheel a third time. I'm already playing catchup to myself.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Boning Up on Writing Manuals
I spent today - my second day off from actively writing in between projects - pouring through fiction writing manuals, specifically, grammar, punctuation and self-editing books. I remember when I had finished writing IN THE MEADOW and was working on the edits for my first novel, I felt like I was drowning in sand. I felt completely overwhelmed with the editing and revising process. None of my work seemed up-to-par, I felt horribly self-conscious, and I never thought in a million years I would every get even a single positive response from agents, let alone a book deal.
I feel better now. I may not be up yet on my board, but I don't feel like I'm going to fall off either when I get ready to stand. There's more confidence in what I'm writing - but more importantly - there's more confidence in what I'm learning. Hacking away slowly at the bad habits, at the awkwardness, no longer feeling that cold, clammy hand of self-doubt pushing my head under the sand quite as hard as it used to. It feels like all my jobs in the past have felt when I first started working. Those first few days are miserable. By the second week you're feeling better, but God you just want to figure everything out and stop making stupid mistakes. After the first month, you're pretty confident, but it doesn't mean you've seen everything and you could do your job in your sleep. No. That kind of intimate knowledge and confidence doesn't develop for a long time. Maybe a year. Maybe more. But it does eventually come - when you have mastered your job, when you have reached a superior level of proficiency. This is what I'm shooting for.
I see the physical writing process, the actual words on the page, as a kind of mechanism, a communications apparatus that I can use to expel my stories. Maybe once they are all gone, in print, I won't need to write anymore. Maybe there will never be an end. At this point I have another 13 books in mind, not counting sequels or multiple books in series - and most if not all of my books I can see having multiples.
Needless to say, it will be very interesting to see how this all shapes up. I don't really see myself developing a career, as if I'm making the conscious decision to do it. As the author said in the latest book I'm reading, "Writers write. Everyone else just makes excuses." That's what I'm finally doing; I'm writing. It doesn't matter if I make any money. It doesn't matter if I'm famous and get booked for the Letterman show. It doesn't matter if even my harshest critics (my family) finally see that I am successful. All that matters is that I write. To me, my stories are alive. I breathe them every day, whether I put them down on paper or not. At least, when I write them down, get them out of me, they don't haunt me in those sleepy-eyed moments before I go to sleep at night. Sometimes I think writing is a lot like breathing. Other times it's just pure hell.
Whatever it is - at least I'm no longer fighting it.
I feel better now. I may not be up yet on my board, but I don't feel like I'm going to fall off either when I get ready to stand. There's more confidence in what I'm writing - but more importantly - there's more confidence in what I'm learning. Hacking away slowly at the bad habits, at the awkwardness, no longer feeling that cold, clammy hand of self-doubt pushing my head under the sand quite as hard as it used to. It feels like all my jobs in the past have felt when I first started working. Those first few days are miserable. By the second week you're feeling better, but God you just want to figure everything out and stop making stupid mistakes. After the first month, you're pretty confident, but it doesn't mean you've seen everything and you could do your job in your sleep. No. That kind of intimate knowledge and confidence doesn't develop for a long time. Maybe a year. Maybe more. But it does eventually come - when you have mastered your job, when you have reached a superior level of proficiency. This is what I'm shooting for.
I see the physical writing process, the actual words on the page, as a kind of mechanism, a communications apparatus that I can use to expel my stories. Maybe once they are all gone, in print, I won't need to write anymore. Maybe there will never be an end. At this point I have another 13 books in mind, not counting sequels or multiple books in series - and most if not all of my books I can see having multiples.
Needless to say, it will be very interesting to see how this all shapes up. I don't really see myself developing a career, as if I'm making the conscious decision to do it. As the author said in the latest book I'm reading, "Writers write. Everyone else just makes excuses." That's what I'm finally doing; I'm writing. It doesn't matter if I make any money. It doesn't matter if I'm famous and get booked for the Letterman show. It doesn't matter if even my harshest critics (my family) finally see that I am successful. All that matters is that I write. To me, my stories are alive. I breathe them every day, whether I put them down on paper or not. At least, when I write them down, get them out of me, they don't haunt me in those sleepy-eyed moments before I go to sleep at night. Sometimes I think writing is a lot like breathing. Other times it's just pure hell.
Whatever it is - at least I'm no longer fighting it.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Finished Manuscript of Seeking Light Aurora !!!
Flash forward to last month and I read a book called I Could do Anything if I Only Knew What it Was. This book was phenomenal. It helped me deal with some of the many issues related to writing, building a writing career and life in general - especially dealing with my past.
Once I got my mentality properly adjusted, and realized [decided] that I really did want to write as a vocation - and hopefully my career [professionally, i.e. get paid to do it] - I set to work and completed the summary outline for Our Daughter. Then I shelved it to get some space and worked up the summary for Seeking Light Aurora. I became so enamored with the characters in this story that I decided to write it before Our Daughter.
It wasn't until I was about forty pages into it that I realized it was not a very long story - definitely not typical novel length. I, of course, started to worry, running that tape in my head, "You're not good enough. You can't even write a full length book. You'll never make it work. You might as well give up."
I didn't give up, though. I did a little research on novellas and discovered they work in perfectly with writing larger books. It can be used as a free give-away, it can be sold alongside other, novel length titles, etc. It can even be incorporated with several other novellas and published as a collection. It's perfect, because I really didn't want to try and add more scenes [padding] to the story line. I really like it the way it is.
I also found out that it is best to wait on running any big marketing campaigns until I have at last four books in print and ready for public consumption. This way there are several available titles for readers to buy and read while I have new titles in the works.
I also want to focus some significant time on reading/working through the grammar/English/writing books I have, and also the software and exercises available online. My goal is to hack my writing process to the point that I am producing much better work exponentially rather than sequentially or worse, remain flat-lined in my growth as a writer. I'm really starting to embrace the idea of developing my craft as a writer and also I think I might actually enjoy the marketing aspects online. It's just the face to face interaction I never could stomach.
At any rate, here's to trying.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Quick Writing Today...
Well, I was a bit surprised at how easily the words flowed out of me this morning. I almost took the day off, too. When I got up I was again late by an hour. As I opened the gate and headed into the main house to take a shower, it hit me that all I really wanted to do was go back to bed and find a good movie to watched. But, I pushed myself and tried to snap out of it.
I got to my computer about two hours later and fired up the Aurora file and away I went. On one of the last scenes and the descriptions just unfolded like they were an old, familiar book I hadn't seen in years. I love writing.
I'm really excited to be almost done. I got around 1200 words in today, but not very much in way of editing THE PREPARATION. I really hate editing. It's so boring and tedious. I just want to run it through a program that will clean it all up for me. I want an editor on call that I can just email the manuscript off to and it will come back a shiny new bestseller. Of course, the real world doesn't work like that. I don't think it even works like that for traditional authors who have a whole staff working with them to get a book out.
My plan is to finish this edit [I'm currently on chapter 7 and there are 42 chapters in the book] and then run each scene through White Smoke. Then I plan to put it away for about a week, coming back to do a final read through/edit (but hopefully only light). Then once more through White Smoke and then format, covert to .mobi format (or whatever Kindle needs) and plan a release date. Then I have to look at setting up a blog tour and whatever other promotional avenues I plan to take. I think at that point (before) the actual release, I'll need to write up a business/marketing plan for the individual book in particular: define what my short, mid, long range goals are, what kind of profit I'm hoping to generate, what my benchmarks will look like and how I will measure my progress, etc. Should be fun. What is nice is that it all can be done online. This is what really attracted me back to publishing and writing. I don't work well face to face. I really just don't like the idea of sitting in a physical book store 8-16 hours a day on a signing tour trying to pump people to buy, shaking hands, doing small talk. I much prefer doing my reader interaction over the internet, asynchronous. It's so intuitive for me, I doubt that I would consider it work at all. Ever.
Editing, on the other hand, I consider grueling, tedious, laborious, gut-wrenching, eye gouging WORK!!!!
I got to my computer about two hours later and fired up the Aurora file and away I went. On one of the last scenes and the descriptions just unfolded like they were an old, familiar book I hadn't seen in years. I love writing.
I'm really excited to be almost done. I got around 1200 words in today, but not very much in way of editing THE PREPARATION. I really hate editing. It's so boring and tedious. I just want to run it through a program that will clean it all up for me. I want an editor on call that I can just email the manuscript off to and it will come back a shiny new bestseller. Of course, the real world doesn't work like that. I don't think it even works like that for traditional authors who have a whole staff working with them to get a book out.
My plan is to finish this edit [I'm currently on chapter 7 and there are 42 chapters in the book] and then run each scene through White Smoke. Then I plan to put it away for about a week, coming back to do a final read through/edit (but hopefully only light). Then once more through White Smoke and then format, covert to .mobi format (or whatever Kindle needs) and plan a release date. Then I have to look at setting up a blog tour and whatever other promotional avenues I plan to take. I think at that point (before) the actual release, I'll need to write up a business/marketing plan for the individual book in particular: define what my short, mid, long range goals are, what kind of profit I'm hoping to generate, what my benchmarks will look like and how I will measure my progress, etc. Should be fun. What is nice is that it all can be done online. This is what really attracted me back to publishing and writing. I don't work well face to face. I really just don't like the idea of sitting in a physical book store 8-16 hours a day on a signing tour trying to pump people to buy, shaking hands, doing small talk. I much prefer doing my reader interaction over the internet, asynchronous. It's so intuitive for me, I doubt that I would consider it work at all. Ever.
Editing, on the other hand, I consider grueling, tedious, laborious, gut-wrenching, eye gouging WORK!!!!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Bones TV, Book Editing, Handbook Reading...
I struggled to get THE PREPARATION editing work done today. I just can't stand editing. It's driving me bonkers and primarily because I don't feel up to the task - I don't feel as if I am good enough to edit or that I will ever be good enough to produce something of any worth. But, such is the nature of self-doubt. I did do it and I think that's what's important. Really important. Doesn't matter so much if "today's" edits were "good" or not. It matters more that I went through the process and pressed on in spite of my doubts, in spite of my fear of failure, in spite of my desire to just pack it in and sit back and enjoy the X Factor tonight (UK - Go Kitty!).
I have been contemplating getting a top level domain, but I just haven't pulled the trigger yet. I can even get it for less than $5 for the first year. That's half off! Who knows what will be happening or where my career will be in a year. I need to just do it and set it up. Get a platform established. Like they say, "If you build it, they will come."
I also got several Social Media Marketing books today. I plan to jump up my game on my reading [I hope to] and get caught up and get way ahead. I have a lot of titles to get through, so maybe I need to cut back a little on the telli box for awhile. It's not like I'm going to miss out on anything when the internet is my own personal DVR.
So, I'm off to watch another X Factor UK extravaganza. It's double elimination this week! Yikes!
UPDATE: Hey! I almost forgot! Bones Season 7 Episode 1 was on tonight? No the other night. I had it saved on my hard drive. It was pretty good. Same old explanation drama [which drives me crazy], but at least Bones and Booth are together and having a baby! They saved the show.
I have been contemplating getting a top level domain, but I just haven't pulled the trigger yet. I can even get it for less than $5 for the first year. That's half off! Who knows what will be happening or where my career will be in a year. I need to just do it and set it up. Get a platform established. Like they say, "If you build it, they will come."
I also got several Social Media Marketing books today. I plan to jump up my game on my reading [I hope to] and get caught up and get way ahead. I have a lot of titles to get through, so maybe I need to cut back a little on the telli box for awhile. It's not like I'm going to miss out on anything when the internet is my own personal DVR.
So, I'm off to watch another X Factor UK extravaganza. It's double elimination this week! Yikes!
UPDATE: Hey! I almost forgot! Bones Season 7 Episode 1 was on tonight? No the other night. I had it saved on my hard drive. It was pretty good. Same old explanation drama [which drives me crazy], but at least Bones and Booth are together and having a baby! They saved the show.
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